A bit from the phone conversation:
Joe: Oh, Shilps. I'm growing old. I've been trying to get back into running, and my tooth hurts.
Me: Knees, Joe. You mean your knee hurts.
Joe: No, no Shilps. My tooth.
Me: Your shin? Yes? Your shin hurts?
Joe: My tooth, Shilps.
Pause.
Me: Ankles?....
Joe: The Tooth, Shilps.
Pause.
Me: What do you mean, Joe? You're not running on your teeth instead of running on your feet, are you?
Joe: No, but the tooth hurts when I breathe in the cold air while running. Remember the tooth?
(Pealing bouts of laughter on both sides)
Me: Oh, yes. The bad tooth. You couldn't laugh at any jokes during winter when we'd all be walking back at night...and you'd grimace instead and look like a snarling and rather hungry wolf.
Joe: Yes. (mini-giggle). That's the one. (very sober and sombre now).
Me: But that tooth of yours has been bothering you for fifteen years. What's growing old got to do with it?
Joe: I'm growing old. My tooth hurts. I have to keep my hand over my mouth while running.
Me: Why don't you keep your mouth closed? You don't need your mouth open while running.
Pause.
Joe: Oh...! But it's difficult, Shilps. I'm growing old. I can't breathe through my nose anymore. I'm growing old.
Me: You can't breathe through your nose because you're growing old? Well use a scarf over your mouth and breathe through your mouth then.
Joe: Yes. Ana gave me one. I have a ski mask too....
Me: Well there you go. Then you can keep your mouth open and keep breathing, laughing and running, but you won't have a painful tooth.
Joe: The tooth hurts Shilps. I'm growing old....
*Beth tells me that Joe has put up a note saying that he's turned 42 this year. So I guess I'm the one who's growing old....
8 comments:
Oh, God Almighty. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I wish, though, that I knew Joe and could say a few things to cheer him up... even just give him cause for a belly laugh for a few seconds.
We all need to hold each other very tightly, I guess, for whatever time is left to us, days, years or decades.
Meanwhile, why doesn't J. see his dentist, for god's sake?
Both...that would be nice. Better than just crying, I mean.
I actually wish you did. Both of you could have given each other some belly laughs...I think.
Yep, I guess.
That's what was decided upon. Joe was wondering whether to get rid of 'The Tooth' altogether. I think I told him to get rid of it as well. It's one of those root canals gone awry.
I keep telling G that I won't have m/any teeth by the beginning of my 39th year...Ooh, there's something to look forward to.
Much as I love my country, I must admit that India, and especially Calcutta, is not a great place to grow old in. Guess why! It takes a lot of getting used to when chicks on the street suddenly quit addressing you as 'didi' and move to 'auntie'. It's one hell of a traumatic experience, I tell you.
Ouch. But how about being called, "Miss Madam"? Or just "Madam"? And since upon the utterance of the word "madam" I see an old grey haired, portly dame of 67 - with a wispy bun, wearing a rather tight mossy green pull-over tucked into a tweed skirt, skin coloured stockings, laced shoes, feet pointed apart - carrying one of those small and ridiculous handbags hung across the crook of her elbow and wearing thick-framed glasses with a slightly dotty air about her...I can't say that being addressed as "Madam" gives me anything but the faint jitters. But the 'Miss Madam' completely unnerved me. I thought I'd heard, 'Miss Madman' (which would have bothered me less...) the first time around.
There were a couple of young-uns in Calcutta who had started calling me auntie five years ago...I swear. And it made my head tingle and prick with annoyance, but what could I possibly say!
Outrageously hilarious! Not the toothache I am sure. Recommend toothpaste for sensitive teeth.
Many thanks, Rajdeep. No, toothaches are unpleasant things. This is a case of a holey tooth though...don't know whether the gentle toothpastes would help in this case...
And I forgot the grey hairs. I've got them by the tuftfuls now.
I can't tell you how glad I am to see that your lovely blog is at last beginning to attract nice comments...
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