1 December 2009

Growing Old

Two weeks ago, I had a conversation with good old darling Joe, who's in Flagstaff. Joe turned *41 this year, and he looks like he's 21.
A bit from the phone conversation:
Joe: Oh, Shilps. I'm growing old. I've been trying to get back into running, and my tooth hurts.
Me: Knees, Joe. You mean your knee hurts.
Joe: No, no Shilps. My tooth.
Me: Your shin? Yes? Your shin hurts?
Joe: My tooth, Shilps.
Pause.
Me: Ankles?....
Joe: The Tooth, Shilps.
Pause.
Me: What do you mean, Joe? You're not running on your teeth instead of running on your feet, are you?
Joe: No, but the tooth hurts when I breathe in the cold air while running. Remember the tooth?
(Pealing bouts of laughter on both sides)
Me: Oh, yes. The bad tooth. You couldn't laugh at any jokes during winter when we'd all be walking back at night...and you'd grimace instead and look like a snarling and rather hungry wolf.
Joe: Yes. (mini-giggle). That's the one. (very sober and sombre now).
Me: But that tooth of yours has been bothering you for fifteen years. What's growing old got to do with it?
Joe: I'm growing old. My tooth hurts. I have to keep my hand over my mouth while running.
Me: Why don't you keep your mouth closed? You don't need your mouth open while running.
Pause.
Joe: Oh...! But it's difficult, Shilps. I'm growing old. I can't breathe through my nose anymore. I'm growing old.
Me: You can't breathe through your nose because you're growing old? Well use a scarf over your mouth and breathe through your mouth then.
Joe: Yes. Ana gave me one. I have a ski mask too....
Me: Well there you go. Then you can keep your mouth open and keep breathing, laughing and running, but you won't have a painful tooth.
Joe: The tooth hurts Shilps. I'm growing old....

*Beth tells me that Joe has put up a note saying that he's turned 42 this year. So I guess I'm the one who's growing old....

8 comments:

Suvro Chatterjee said...

Oh, God Almighty. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I wish, though, that I knew Joe and could say a few things to cheer him up... even just give him cause for a belly laugh for a few seconds.

We all need to hold each other very tightly, I guess, for whatever time is left to us, days, years or decades.

Meanwhile, why doesn't J. see his dentist, for god's sake?

Shilpi said...

Both...that would be nice. Better than just crying, I mean.

I actually wish you did. Both of you could have given each other some belly laughs...I think.

Yep, I guess.

That's what was decided upon. Joe was wondering whether to get rid of 'The Tooth' altogether. I think I told him to get rid of it as well. It's one of those root canals gone awry.

I keep telling G that I won't have m/any teeth by the beginning of my 39th year...Ooh, there's something to look forward to.

iwonder said...

Much as I love my country, I must admit that India, and especially Calcutta, is not a great place to grow old in. Guess why! It takes a lot of getting used to when chicks on the street suddenly quit addressing you as 'didi' and move to 'auntie'. It's one hell of a traumatic experience, I tell you.

Shilpi said...

Ouch. But how about being called, "Miss Madam"? Or just "Madam"? And since upon the utterance of the word "madam" I see an old grey haired, portly dame of 67 - with a wispy bun, wearing a rather tight mossy green pull-over tucked into a tweed skirt, skin coloured stockings, laced shoes, feet pointed apart - carrying one of those small and ridiculous handbags hung across the crook of her elbow and wearing thick-framed glasses with a slightly dotty air about her...I can't say that being addressed as "Madam" gives me anything but the faint jitters. But the 'Miss Madam' completely unnerved me. I thought I'd heard, 'Miss Madman' (which would have bothered me less...) the first time around.

There were a couple of young-uns in Calcutta who had started calling me auntie five years ago...I swear. And it made my head tingle and prick with annoyance, but what could I possibly say!

Rajdeep said...

Outrageously hilarious! Not the toothache I am sure. Recommend toothpaste for sensitive teeth.

Shilpi said...

Many thanks, Rajdeep. No, toothaches are unpleasant things. This is a case of a holey tooth though...don't know whether the gentle toothpastes would help in this case...

iwonder said...

And I forgot the grey hairs. I've got them by the tuftfuls now.

Suvro Chatterjee said...

I can't tell you how glad I am to see that your lovely blog is at last beginning to attract nice comments...