The Madman - I

There's a mad man, they say, in a one horse town.
“Does he dance around in a see-through gown?
Does he squabble aloud with his other selves?
Does he hold midnight meetings with the garden elves?
Does he wake up the neighbours with full-throttled hollers?
Does he toss rotten eggs down clueless collars?
Does he giggle while squashing down human heads?
Doe he take swinging leaps over the flower-beds?
Doe he howl at the moon, moo, coo, bray or bark?
Does he chomp down on legs with the jaws of a shark?”
............
They huddle, they whisper, “none of the above”, they say.
“Then what makes him mad - pray tell me,” I bay.
They whisper, they chatter, they babble some more,
“He beats up the parents who come to his door!”
I tilt m'self forward, “You've seen this no doubt?”
“Sunny saw it with her glasses, perched on her stout snout!
Sunny told Fanny, who told it to Beena.
Beena told Reena, who told it to Meena.”
Meena tosses her hair and lets out a purr,
“It's Sunny who saw it. You should ask hurr.”
Sunny titters and stutters; looks this way and that
Flapping her hands around – much like a bat.
I turn to Snout-Sunny, peering into her face -
To me she looks like a basket-case.
“So you saw it yourself? It must have been scary?”
“Err it wasn't really me, it was Barry (who's so Hairy)...”
All tops topple over to find Barry in their midst
Barry, who’s rubbing one very hairy wrist.
“So you saw it? Didja? Saw it with your own eyes?”
Barry grunts “T'was Bandy”, and stares at the skies.
The whispers rise like a murmuring gale
But that isn't the end of this long-winded tale.
Bandy comes forth, hands deep in his pockets
I yelp out as I look into his eyeless sockets.
“And what did you see?” I bark, "What have you seen-huhn?"
“Nought a thing.” Says Bandy, “I heard it from Meena!”